Life Without Therapy Is Ghetto: My Mental Health Journey

Therapy. Whew. Let me just start by saying this life without therapy is ghetto. I’ve lived life with therapy on and off for years, and I can confidently say that having therapy in my life made me better. Stronger. More balanced. And living without it? Yeah, that’s not it.

I’m sharing my journey today because mental health is just as important as physical health, especially in our culture. For too long, we’ve been taught to “pray about it” or “just be strong.” But I’ve learned that strength also means knowing when you need help.


My Introduction to Therapy: Postpartum Depression

I’ve always been a naturally happy, positive person. The one who walks into a room and lights it up. The “Dear Abby” for family and friends when they need advice, encouragement, or just a listening ear. So, when I started to feel like I was struggling to stay happy, I knew something wasn’t right.

It took me nine months after giving birth to my youngest daughter who’s now 12 to realize I was dealing with postpartum depression. I wasn’t sleeping well. I was irritable. I felt like I was drowning in emotions I didn’t recognize. My doctor suggested therapy, and that’s when my journey to true healing began.


The Weight of Unresolved Trauma

Sitting in that therapist’s office, I was nervous but hopeful. After our first few sessions, my therapist told me something that shifted my entire perspective:

“Janay, you’ve been through so many traumatic events that you’ve never had time to process. Now that life has slowed down, it’s all hitting you at once like a ton of bricks.”

And she was right. For years, I had been so focused on being “the strong one” that I never gave myself permission to unpack my pain. Therapy became the safe space where I could release it all without judgment.


The Stigma of Therapy in Our Culture

One thing my therapist pointed out was how therapy is often misunderstood in the Black community. She said, “In your culture, therapy isn’t always normalized. People think if you go to therapy, something must be wrong with you. But therapy isn’t about something being wrong it’s about staying mentally healthy.”

That resonated with me deeply. We go to the doctor for checkups to keep our bodies healthy. Why don’t we do the same for our minds? Mental and emotional health is just as crucial as physical health.

I had a friend who passed away from an illness, and before she died, she told me, “I did this to myself. I held onto too much stress, too much unforgiveness.” That conversation stayed with me. Stress doesn’t just weigh on our minds; it can break down our bodies too.


The Hard Work of Healing

Let me be real with you therapy isn’t easy. It requires work. You have to confront past hurts, acknowledge unhealthy patterns, and commit to growth. There were many sessions filled with tears, guilt, and moments of doubt. But there were also breakthroughs moments of clarity, forgiveness, and self-love.

I learned to stop pouring from an empty cup. I learned to love myself enough to rest, to set boundaries, and to prioritize my well-being.


Walking Away from Therapy and Feeling the Difference

When I left corporate America to pursue my dreams, my insurance changed. I didn’t immediately set up therapy with my new coverage. I told myself, “I got this.”

Spoiler alert: I didn’t.

Life without therapy hit differently. The old habits of trying to be everyone’s rock without checking in on myself came back. The stress, the irritability, the anxiety it all crept back in. I was still mentoring, encouraging, and motivating others through PUSH with Janay, but I knew I wasn’t showing up as my best self.


Making the Decision to Return

Recently, I made a decision: I set up my new therapy appointment. Because I deserve it. Because my family deserves the healthiest version of me. Because the people I mentor and the community I serve deserve authenticity, not a woman running on empty.

Therapy isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity.

Let’s Normalize Therapy in Our Community

To my sisters and brothers out there: let’s normalize therapy in our community. Therapy doesn’t mean you’re broken; it means you’re brave enough to heal. It’s a space to:

• Unpack trauma

• Develop coping skills

• Cultivate self-awareness

• Foster self-love

We need to care for our mental health just like we do our physical health. Therapy, prayer, meditation, exercise it’s all part of the wellness package.


PUSH with Me

I built PUSH with Janay on the foundation of hope, healing, and faith. PUSH stands for Pray Until Something Happens, but it also reminds us to push through life’s challenges with the right tools. Therapy is one of those tools.

So, if you’re reading this and you’ve been considering therapy, this is your sign. Make the call. Schedule the appointment. Give yourself permission to heal.

Because, trust me life without therapy is ghetto. And life with it? That’s where the magic happens.

We need each other. I need you, you need me, and together we’ll be okay.

With love and encouragement,

Janay

PUSH with Janay

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